I used to be a vegetarian, many years ago… and now the election is upon us I feel like one again, only I’m in the ridiculous position of having to choose either pork sausages, beef burgers, chicken nuggets, or bacon sandwiches for my next 5 years of meals.
It turns out, that the pork sausage company only sell to its own staff… and guarantee loyal customers the best rates, by ensuring only their own staff buy their sausages.
The beef burger company only sell to the shop owners who in turn sell their burgers… with a promise that the shops selling the burgers will always be “looked after”.
The chicken nugget company are only willing to sell to the bacon and beef burger companies, as they believe chicken nuggets work better as a side order, but actually the beef burger and bacon companies end up sending the stock back when they realise the boxes are actually filled with crabs.
The bacon company are selling bacon sandwiches to everyone, and making sure that there are enough Rennie to go round if any of its customers get indigestion, whilst promising to bring ketchup and brown sauce to the table once the tea has finished mashing, but they are not sure how long the shop can stay open.
There is a vegetarian option, that normally would suit my old vegetarian way of thinking, however they’ve gone and put Quorn on the menu, and only have one shop and it’s bloody miles away from where I live.
Bacon sarnies it is then. ;)